I posted a Poem for Artie a couple of days ago to mark his first birthday.
I had written it last year just after he was born.
When I went to dig it out from the notes in my phone (great document management system), I found another poem I had written around the same time, On Your Wedding Day.
Thinking about these poems brought me back to when Dylan was born. I had a recollection of writing a poem for Dylan in a small notebook a friend had given me. I managed to find it (no mean feat given that I moved last year) and stumbled across a couple of other poems too.
These poems all have a slight (or in some cases overt) melancholy feel which you might think odd given that on each occasion of having my sons I have been absolutely over the moon.
The thing is with the days and first few weeks after having a baby, you are awake in the night, a lot. Often alone. Usually feeding, which can take a long time if you have hungry little bear cubs like mine.
Just you and your baby, your new little precious human who you would do anything to protect, with none of the distractions you have in the daytime, in the dead of night.
That’s a cocktail for dark thoughts right there (and random online grocery shops).
For me these night time feeds were often periods of reflection in a very exhausted-strung-out-new-mum kind of way: “OMG, what if I contract the bubonic plague tomorrow?” “Who will feed my son?” “What if he contracts it?” “What will Mr Brightness do?” That kind of thing.
These thoughts would often spill over in to a poem or two.
So here’s the first of what I am calling The Night Feed Collection.
Let me know if you like it and if I haven’t bored you to tears I’ll post the other ones up.
On Your Wedding Day
On your wedding day, I pray,
I will be there
To cheer, to clink, to have a drink,
To dance and sway, to hold you dear
To send you on your way.
If I am not, if my time has stopped
Or you copy me and Dad, a trad,
Be clear, my darling Dylan,
My darling Art,
You are in my heart
And I in yours
So I will be there.