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Grotty Tit Bits (SOS – The Return)

I recently wrote a poem about the sad demise of my bra-filling attributes.

They say if you don’t laugh you’ll cry, so in that spirit I asked for your own rhymes celebrating your post-motherhood body.

I had a great response to the post and some amazing poetic contributions on this tragic reality.

There is a poet in us all.

Especially when we have such great material.

There’s something liberating about getting it off your chest, as it were. So on we go…

First up – and this was when I knew I wasn’t alone in this – from Jemma (one half of the brilliant Go Outside The Lines team – check out their prints for more subtle wit).


Next up is Ellen from Babies, Biscuits and Booze‘s contribution. I almost spat my tea out reading this one – it’s brilliant – although hugely disappointed that I didn’t think of the poetic union that is boobs and lube first…!

A blogger who always makes me laugh, Helen from Just Saying Mum, did just that with her fabulous rhyme. Will never look at a tennis ball in the same way again! You can check out her blog here.

Finally Victoria from Teacuptoria wrote a whole poem on the subject, What The Heck? complete with illustration. You can check it out here.

I have absolutely loved reading these and if you have a rhyme playing on your mind then please share it!

Our bodies rock (even when they mainly wobble).

You can read my recent Beach Body Appraisal here and general musings on wobbly bodies here.

I’m linking this post up with #PassTheSauce#ChuckleMums and #coolmumclub.

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  1. LOVE IT! Thanks for including little old me. Your post did make me chuckle.

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      You’re so welcome, thanks for joining in! I’m so glad! Xx

  2. Michele Tansley Michele Tansley

    Challenge accepted. Here you go:

    Huge boobs

    When I swelled to double D,
    Hub was happy as can be,
    He got a twinkle in his eye,
    His ‘handful only’ was a lie,
    He saw his chance, the time was nigh,
    But baby Tansley cried and cried.

    Later, husband.
    Later, dear,
    The baby’s hungry,
    Come not near…

    But time was short,
    The chance was gone,
    Those boobies did not stick around,
    The ONLY silver lining found,
    Was… double As don’t touch the ground!

    They shrank, they went,
    Their day was spent.
    Poor husband sighed,
    And wept “now when?”
    Alas, those boobies gone again.

    The end.

    By me, Baby Tansley’s mummy xx

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      This is brilliant! And something many husbands can relate to I’m sure!! Xx

  3. My boobs were perky enough,
    And huge when I got up the duff,
    The milk made her happy,
    But my boobs went flappy,
    So I bought a bra I could stuff.

    Then I got preggo once more,
    And my boobs lifted up off the floor,
    I’m on one feed a day,
    So for now they will stay,
    But they’ll never go back like before.


    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      A++!! Brilliant! “They’ll never go back like before”, ain’t that the truth! Thanks for hosting the brilliant #chucklemums xx

  4. Oh these are just brilliant and had me howling with laughter. Just fantastic! #passthesauce

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      Thank you! I’m glad! Xx

  5. I wish I had the babysitter’s, Mine look like a pair of pittas. #passthesauce

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      I love this! Pittas is genius! Xx

  6. EEEk! tennis ball in a sock – love the fact that the blogging community now know the state of my boobs! Thank you so much for including mine lovely – very entertaining read #passthesauce

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      I think the boobs of the mum blogging community are probably all in a similar state! And your poem is fantastic! Xx

  7. So a poem on boobs if you please?
    Well I tend to keep mine by my knees!
    And there’s no shame to say,
    That they get in the way,
    As I now cross my legs when I sneeze!

    This kind of post is right up my street haha! Love it love it love it 🙂 xx

  8. You know my boobs are actually fine, but I dread to think what the downstairs looks like after all the stitches! #chucklemums

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      Don’t look. Best not to know! X

  9. HAHAHAHA!!!! Brilliant…loved all the little poems. I must think of something when my bits are particularly annoying and I have more inspiration. Thanks for sharing with #PasstheSauce

  10. Chuckling so hard right now! Love them all #coolmumclub xx

  11. OMG this had me howling!! Loving these contributions. How about this…

    Oh boobies, oh boobies where for art thou?
    Have you in fact be flattened by a trowl?
    Or perhaps strangled to within an inch of your life?
    How could you give me such trouble, angst and strife?
    Imposters – most definitely, traitors too true.
    It’s a shame I have to put up with not just one, but two!

    Tee hee. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

    • thebrightnessofthesedays thebrightnessofthesedays

      Brilliant! As expected! I like the Shakespeare-esque tone, you’ve clearly been inspired by the recent celebrations! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub xx

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